Blue Suede Shoes
Cast of Characters
JENNIFER POHORSKI - Vocals, Pilsner, Glockenspiel
Jennifer is a renowned collector of mid-20th century ceramic garden gnomes. At the age of 11 she auditioned for the role of Ralph Furley on Three’s Company only to lose the part to Don Knotts. Jennifer once bought a pair of shoes from Amazon. One year later she returned them for a different pair. When not singing with her band Jennifer likes to feed birds. To her cat.
KORHAN BIRCAN - Guitar, Vocals, Lite Beer, Penny Whistle
While he can't prove it, Korhan believes the secret to happiness somehow involves chewing tobacco. He pronounces the "b" in "doubt." Korhan's guitarist buddies try not to laugh when he insists he loves playing songs in the key of Eb. Korhan was disappointed when he saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time. He thought it would be bigger. Korhan says this planet reminds him a lot of earth.
DOUG POHORSKI - Bass, Vocals, Hazy IPA, Theremin
Doug always wears a monocle. In bed. While working as a barista at Starbucks Doug once waited on Mike Tyson. By mistake he wrote “Jim” on his cup. Doug will only speak Klingon to his bandmates. His accent sucks. Doug assumed he was looking "totally buffed" after the guys at the gym start calling him Buffy. He prefers Shemp over Curly.
MIKE LYNCH - Guitar, Porter, Ocarina
A music purist, Mike left his first band The Monotypicals when they became The Stereotypicals. All of Mike's recipes call for a dollop of Tang. He once planted a shoe tree in his yard. If you need to speak to Mike immediately, you might call REI. He said he was going there this afternoon to buy some sandals. Mike claims to have invented the saying, "He who smelt it, dealt it."
KELLY RALSTON - Drums, Double IPA, Sporks
Much to his mother’s dismay Kelly came out of the womb fully clothed. Halloween is the only night of the year Kelly doesn’t toilet paper houses. He can't understand why Burma is now called Myanmar. His dog still questions his authority. Kelly believes that minivans are “sexy rides.” If Kelly is singing at one of our gigs, something has gone horribly wrong.